That's the way the cookie crumbles...

Moving out in a week...

2011-08-18T10:10:00.001+08:00

Don't quite know what else to say about it.

Hope the move goes smoothly I guess.

Moving out...

2011-05-08T13:03:00.003+08:00

The home I've lived in for 30 years is going to be sold and my family will be moving out.

I know I've been wanting to move out for a while, but not like this. I think it's the thought of someone else making a home of my home (for about my whole life) that's giving me issues.

This just serves to underline my belief that nothing's permanent in Singapore; every 3 minutes, something changes... that piece of grassland behind your house, now it's a condominium. That old building you see everyday when you cross the street, is now an empty lot. That old mall you used to visit every so often after school, it's now a 'newer, bigger and with more shops'.

I don't mind things changing, but I wish there were time for things to settle down before the next upheaval.

One more strike against this place...

The world is changing...

2011-01-21T10:43:00.002+08:00

..and I don't know if I can keep up.

Maybe it's just the ebb and flow of time, things happen faster for a spell and then slow down again later.

Maybe the world wants some things to happen and decided it can't wait any longer for humanity to take its time.

Maybe the crazies are right and the end is nigh.

Though what kind of end and to what, I doubt they know.

I kinda took the whole year of 2010 off (not exactly voluntarily). Guess it's time to get back on my feet.

I don't know if this just another false start. I hope not.

I've never been the greatest fan of changes.

And I believe that not all change is good change.

I just hope that the changes I make will be good ones.

And will see me through to the years forthcoming.

In camp training tomorrow... stupid...

2010-10-19T19:13:00.001+08:00

Can't get out of it this time. Have to cut my hair soon. I hate this waste of time.

Bye Grandpa...

2010-09-07T22:28:00.003+08:00

My grandfather, Augustine Swee Soon Hock, passed away about half an hour ago.

Goodbye grandpa, rest in peace.

A friendship ended...

2010-05-06T01:46:00.002+08:00

Wish it things didn't turn out this way. Wished so many things had gone differently. In the end I couldn't let go and everything's gone now.

Not quite resolutions for the coming New Year

2009-12-30T09:20:00.004+08:00

Due to recent events (that is, over the past two months), I really want to change my life. For a number of reasons. Among them;

I really like the US and Canada. I want to live there - either one of those countries. I really want to find a job and settle down in one of the aforementioned countries.

I really hate (well, as much as I can hate, I don't seem to do hate really well) Singapore. Well, what I hate are some of the social conditions and pressures I've had while growing up. I hate the education priorities and conditions I've had to deal with while growing up. I hate the Stupid Armed Forces.

On that note, I do love my family and friends in Singapore. I can't ask for better. They (and the awesome AFA conventions) will be what I'll miss when I do emigrate.

There're more, but I'll keep this short.

I'm gonna try keeping myself busy as much as I can for as long as I can. I'm kinda full of nervous/anxious energy. I want to do things, lots of things. Drawing, writing, building, inventing. I hope I can build a habit out of it.

In short, I want to change the world.

A brief summary of the last few days

2009-10-26T02:03:00.002+08:00

Thursday:
Stayed in the room, sketched a pic of my room mates.

Friday:
Made copies of sketches, bought supplies, found the kitchen.

Saturday:
Room mates (Irish) left, new room mates (Scottish) moved in.

Sunday (Planned Today):
Going to the Portabello Market, maybe sightsee a bit.

In Canada....

2009-10-21T04:07:00.002+08:00

Am in Canada now, staying for a week at the Cambie Hostel. Would've made a post earlier but was having connection difficulties Monday night. That may be because I decided to connect to the wireless from on top of a double decker bed instead of from the floor. The connection seems way more stable here. ^ ^

Anyway, have been here for 2 days, set up a bank account so I don't have to lug around all my money, got a new phone because my old one just cannot detect GSM bands in use here and cannot be tweaked to do so. Set up facebook since so many people are demanding that I do so. =P Will probably be out until late today sightseeing and stuff. I'll try to keep more in touch than I have been over the years. ^ ^

Really quick and minor update.

2009-09-12T10:24:00.003+08:00

Am going to Canada. Next month. Really excited. Slightly apprehensive.

To elaborate;

I'm heading off to Canada, hopefully for good. It'll be at the early part of October. While I can't wait to go, I'm also now sure how I'll cope being in a foreign country by myself. I don't know if I can live by myself. If I can be independent. If I can find a job.

Okay, so maybe I'm a lot apprehensive.

Went to my first Rock (or would it be considered Pop?) concert.

2008-11-24T08:44:00.002+08:00

Was to get together with some friends yesterday to see an anime convention (Anime Festival Asia 2008), We got there, at different times due to a number of us having prior commitments in the morning.

We looked around a bit, left for a late lunch, came back in to look some more. It was smaller than I'd expected, with a lot of empty space in some corners. Overall it was interesting.

Noticed on my way in that the performing artist at the post convention concert was May'n, the singing voice of Sheryl Nome in Macross Frontier. I didn't know she was in Singapore (didn't know about the convention until the last minute actually) so it was a pleasent surprise.

Anyway, after a while two of us got tickets -VIP tickets- to the concert (I wasn't one of them incidentally). And about half an hour before the concert, one of the two concert goers had to drop out and left the ticket floating in the air. I was the only other person who had shown interest so it went to me.

I'd heard about an autograph session after the concert so I figured I ought to get one. The only problem was that I didn't really have anything appropriate with me for signing. In hindsight I could've gone hunting for something that could take a signature (I _was_ at an anime convention... ^ ^), but I decided on another course of action instead.

I went to the back corner, took out a sketch pad my best friend had given me and proceeded to draw/sketch a portrait of May'n from the convention map/event calendar. I got it done in about half-an-hour though I felt it looked a bit rough towards the end. With fifteen minutes to go, we got to the VIP premium area and waited for the concert to start.

It was a short concert, but I enjoyed it. I think the acoustics was bad because it was held in a convention hall rather than a concert hall. The pre-fab booths were rattling from the speakers which I think were overenthusiastically turned up. The singer really liked the crowd to join in her concerts, but we (country-wise due to education and other local factors) tend to be a rather leaden bunch (me included actually ^ ^). She was singing her heart out to infuse some enthusiasm into us and actually succeeded to some extent.

Anyway, after the concert we found out that there were a hundred pre-signed boards were to be given out. To Diamond VIPs. They were in the area infront of the VIP premium area. No personal items were allowed to be signed though.

We stayed for a while and I actually recognized two people in the Diamond VIP area. We joined up with the others who didn't stay for the concert and got some drinks from a nearby Seven-Eleven before heading for home.

Pretty cool overall, too bad about the autograph part. I also found out after I got home that of the 'normal' VIPs, twenty were to be selected for an autograph session. We didn't know about it, or when it was to be held. Ah well, such is life. =/

Still got the sketch. Am gonna put it up on Deviant Art soon. Drop some comments. =)

Creeeeeeaaaaak!

2008-02-08T09:48:00.000+08:00

That would be the sound of the brain. Mine actually. Stretching into writing configuration again. You could probably guess how long it's been since it last worked this way.

Trying to be funny aside (emphasis on the first word), I think I've had an epiphany a short while ago. Too bad it's only in regards with what I want to do. For a living, a career.

So what do I want to do?

Read.

Write.

Draw.

I happen to like doing these things too.

I've been doing these off and on for so long (except for reading where it's been mostly on) that I hadn't considered them as things I'd want to do for a living (Well, I have thought of being a writer but I think not as seriously as I am now.)

There is a concern about if it's wise to do what I like for a living, least I stop liking them. But then again these don't necessarily have to be the only things I have to do for a living. Nor am I limited to only liking to do these things either.

That was the hard part.

The next step is relatively easy, finding a job that involves reading, writing and/or drawing. Of course relatively easy does not mean easy. I still got to get such a job.

Then there's the next step.

Succeeding. That probably goes back up to hard. Possibly much harder than step one.

Well, at the very least I now have a direction.

...I need a map now.

Possibly a push too.

Oh, and Happy Lunar New Year to those who celebrate it. =)

Breaking chains

2007-07-11T22:01:00.000+08:00

Since the last update a few things have happened.

My other job's done, not fired but it looks like I won't be re-hired. My fault, I can't wake up early enough.

I won't miss it though, while it was interesting I'd rather be doing other things. ^ ^

My best friend went overseas to study. Never thought about it until another friend mentioned it but yeah, best friend. =) Met him about a year and a half ago, and it's been almost a constant stream of laughs ever since.

It was unexpected. We bumped into each other when he was looking for another friend and we ended talking about drawing. We both draw, but he's way more prolific. And we were always envious of each others' accomplishments in drawing. =) Anyway I know you'll see this sooner or later so; don't ever stop drawing! =)

I've managed to accumulate enough to pay back my student loan. It's actually a small amount as far as tuition fees go, but I can say I did it mostly by myself (I was short a bit but I did have enough leftover savings to cover it). Used up almost every bit of cash I managed to squirrel away over the past few years.

I would've felt it a major accomplishment if my father hadn't ruin the moment by finding out at the eleventh hour and reimbursing me. ^ ^ I guess I still have some ways to go before I can truly be independent. =/

Backpains and Headaches

2007-05-22T22:11:00.000+08:00

Lots happened.

I did try applying for the localization job but they wanted an English Major and so I don't qualify.

I continued with the job I was then currently doing until it's conclusion (quota reached).

I'm still with this job (now dismentaling and setting up machines) but I feel like quitting it soon. I can't consistantly wake up early enough to properly do the job.

I keep telling myself to do some drawings but I keep putting it off.

Been meaning to write here but I keep putting it off.

Wanted to do more writing in general but I keep putting it off.

My mom's one year death anniversary was yesterday (Monday, May 21st).

Backaches from lifting CRT monitors and thumbaches from overly tight thumbscrews.

Headaches from customers I do not particularly like (the kind who seem to need hand-holding just to use basic computer functions).

That's the past four and a half months or so in a nutshell.

I feel like I need a vacation.

P.S.: Being pressured into getting a DeviantArt account. Might succumb soon... ^ ^

I feel angry, fustrated, spent and miserable...

2007-02-03T17:46:00.000+08:00

So I'm working at this new job for a week now. In talking to a friend on Friday night, he mention that another friend was looking for people to do playtesting of a new MMORPG.

What playtesters are gonna be paid is a bit more than what I'm currently earning. After a bit more questioning and some thought, I lament a good (and frankly; prefered) job oppotunity gone by. And I thought that was the end of that.

He then remembered about the localization job that they were also looking for people for. That pays almost double of what I'm getting. And it's a full-time job, requiring the employee to work as part of a team.

That's when the fustration kicked in.

More than the money, it's a chance to do something I know I can do and have more than passing interest in. Just as importantly, a chance to break into the gaming industry or further jobs doing localization or related work.

I begin to question, 'Why now!?'. After almost a week of settling into a new job.

I begin to get angry. Another friend had just gotten me the job I'm now doing. Why did he have to do so now?! Why did I agree to take the job?! This is what happens when I agree to help out because I need cash and _his_ friend needs workers.

Why must things be so? Just when I accept having to settle for less, more passes me by because I've already gave up. This is not the first time I accept jobs/help because people want to help me and by doing so I help them. But then something better always passes me by. It happens often and in almost all aspects of life.

My friend only knows an 'Aaaaahhhhh!!! Why now!?', as that's about all I spoke about my mind on things. I ask a bit more before I left.

Walking a bit, I felt spent. Much as I'd like to drop whatever I'm doing now to take up that localization job, I can't. Earlier discussion with that same friend brought up the phrase 'personal integrity'. I'm not entirely sure if that's the cause but I feel trapped.

All through yesterday and today I keep thinking about things. I tell myself I've accepted that I won't be jumping jobs and that another such chance will come along. But I don't feel like I believe it. All I feel is misery over the whole thing.

Events like this makes me want to just be all round nasty, spiteful and break whatever value my word has left.

Stupid morals.

What I originally wanted to post, in a nutshell.

2007-01-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

Eastern and Western philosophy in a nut shell;

Eastern - Has roots in Confucianism
Western - Has roots in the Enlightenment

Eastern - The past is sacred and should always be venerated
Western - The present is what's important and it's all that matters

Eastern - The future never comes.
Western - The future is now.

Mindsets, paradigms and advice I've encountered

2007-01-28T23:16:00.000+08:00

(By no means comprehensive)

Negative mindsets & paradigms I've encountered:

Age/seniority equals wisdom
People with higher learning certificates (Diplomas, Degrees, etc) know more than you
The government knows what's best for you
Be suspecious of the suspecious looking person just because he looks suspecious
Don't stand out
You cannot possibly know more than the teacher
You cannot possibly know more than the book
You cannot possibly know more than your elders (any older person, any higher ranked military personnel, etc)
It's not my problem (to avoid doing the responsible thing)
It's not my problem (pushing blame)
It's not your problem (don't look for trouble)
It's not your problem (none of your business)
It's alright if it's not done to me but if it's is done to me, it's not alright
The one with better grades is more suitable for the job at hand
The one with better grades is smarter
The one with better grades is just plain better
The one with better grades knows more
If you enjoy unexpected wealth you should spread the joy
If you can afford an expensive purchese you must be able to afford more
Once a crook, always a crook
Always protect yourself first
The last person to touch a spoilt device is the person who spoilt it
Don't go near the weird guy
It's bad so it must be true
It's good so it must be true
You thought it up so you do it
Newer is better, older is worse
Experiments are an unecessary waste of time (and resource)
Do not do more than is necessary (you won't be compensated)
The end justify the means
A fool and his money is soon parted (retail strategy)
Be first (at everything)
If you've failed you're no-good/good-for-nothing/worthless/etc
If you've failed before you're not as good as the one who has never failed
A good deed must be rewarded (else the good deed won't be repeated)
The customer is always right
If you have no authority, your opinions have no weight

Positive mindsets & paradigms I've encountered:

Do not take things too seriously
Laugh with people not at people
Do unto others what you would have others do unto you
Watch, listen, learn, practice
Be nice, be kind, courtesy extended is courtesy returned
You can learn from your mistakes
Failure is not final unless you let it be final
You do not need to tell the world that you are good
What goes around comes around
Treat your employees well because if they all quit, you'll have to do all the work
Be open minded
Listen to kids, often they are unfettered by the chains of pride and image
Don't let others do your thinking for you
Treasure your friends
Watch the lazy ones, they may know how to get the most done with the least effort
Don't be obnoxious, it can come back and bite you in the ass

-------------------------------------------------

At first I want to rant and list my peeves with what I saw to be the problems with the (primarily) Eastern and Western mindsets I've experienced. Within the first few lines it began to feel like another diatribe against the Singapore government so I deleted the whole thing (yes, I -can- get tired of hearing myself whine =P).

After another false start, I've managed to list some of the mindsets, paradigms or advice I've heard/encountered that I find negative or offensive (that I can remember or put my finger on anyway).

Then I ran into trouble trying to come up with positive examples. After a while I realised the reason I couldn't think up/remember any is because I find them positive. Because I agree with them (mostly) I don't see them as seperate mindsets/paradigm/advice. To some level I've assemilated them and call them all my own views. Because of that, in my mind they are all different facets of one mindset, one paradigm. In a sense I call them positive because I agree with them.

Objectively, this also means I cannot be objective in telling positive from negative (or vise vesa).

At the same time, it reflects what I think or feel are acceptable thoughts.

On the other hand, everything is subjected to interpretation of the reader.

To make this simpler, I could just label them as what I like and dislike. I could do it but then I'll have to change this rant to either reflect or explain that. Which will necessitate more effort (than I would expend) and time (than I can expend). =) As such, I shall leave it as it is.

I spend too much time arguing with myself. ^ ^

I've also been throwing the word 'paradigm' waaaay around too much. ^ ^

Maybe because it makes me sound smarter than I really am. =P

Back with another post.

2007-01-28T10:56:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, this is rather embrassessing. ^ ^ I'd gotten a new notebook (LG R1 Express) with what my Mom left me plus what little I managed to save over the past two or so months. With that notebook I'd been playing this game or that and watching anime to test out the capabilities. So much so that I'd managed to neglect almost everything else. ^ ^

I did managed to squeeze a post out to the AMRN but I've mostly vanished from the web (though I do answer IMs and IRC when at home at the other com). Part of this is because I do not have another net connection at home (my router died sometime the year before last and I never did get a replacement) and part of it is because at work the wireless access is unreliable (the cybercafe doesn't offer wireless, it's from this nationwide initiative to wire(less) up the entire island) because it's just installed and likely not fully activated yet.

In anycase, the reason I'm actually writing now is that somehow, I'd... managed to.. misplace the key to my cablelock... ^ ^

It should be somewhere at home, since it was with me last night before I left work. It somehow managed to slip off the keyring (it was on its own keyring) while in my pocket or something. I have t0 check when I get back home tonight.

So here I am now at the computer behind the counter of the cybercafe at work again. ^ ^
Heh. ^ ^ Gonna work on a rant post soon.

Merry Christmas!!! ^_^

2006-12-24T21:12:00.000+08:00

To everyone reading this,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! ^_^

I miss my childhood Christmas celebrations. They used to be held at my grandparents place with at least two other cousins. For a few years, that was tradition. And it wouldn't have been complete without the morning Disney cartoons. And the presents, I remember I always looked forward to them. ^ ^

But now what I miss most of all were the carefree attitudes we had then, and the feeling of being together with family on a holiday morning.

One day I would like to experience that again.

But in the meantime,

Happy Holidays!

^_^

BTW, I really like this news article. =)

Life... the world... and lousy bag strap buckles.

2006-12-01T15:08:00.000+08:00

Pt 3: and lousy bag strap buckles.

The plastic bag strap buckle on my bag snapped when I jumped down a flight of stairs (5 steps!!) a coupla weeks back so I had to get a replacement bag. About a week later, and an hour spent scouting around for a bag that wasn't too expensive (and something I could stand to be seen with), I found one. It's mostly dark brown and with bits of black. It cost a bit more that I expected to spend, but I'm happy with it. I really like the name of the brand. =D (Pics to come later.)

Episode II: the world...

I want to get a laptop/notebook. It's not the answer to all my problems but with one, I can at least cross that off my excuse list. =P The problem is whether ( <== took me ages to figure out the spelling for this word) I should just get a computer now, or wait until the model I want to come out. A Pentium M or Core Duo PC. If I wait, the model will be Vista capable. But if I wait, how long should I wait for.

In any case I'm planning to get in touch with the supplier of the notebook company, to find out how much longer will it be before this particular model comes out (D14RY under the new products section). And/or see how much I can get the other model for. *shrug* Here's hoping I don't get fleeced.

Chapter A: Life...

Looking around, I can't help but feel a bit removed from everything. I just don't fit in around here. I'll probably sound egotistical here but I've determined that I'm a 'Jack-of-all-trades' person. I can do lots of stuff passingly well, but I don't seem to excel like some people do at any one craft (playing different genres of games, various artistic endevours, etc.). Of course this is open to interpretation, as what may look good to one may look horrible to another.

Around here (at least from what I've experienced), you're expected to be good at one thing (usually studies or one's job), regardless of the detriment or enrichment of other persuits in one's life. I tend to be just 'good enough' (though totally horrible in some of the things I do (like being social and working in retail)) with sprinklings of 'lazied motivation'* and a healthy dose of 'Crap! I'm late!'. Needless to say (but I'm gonna say it anyway, so there!), I'm not a good prospect as an employee to most employers or a student to most teachers. (I blame the Singapore education system! (But that's a whole other can of rant.))

Also since it's the end of the year, it looks like my resolution of traveling to North America before the year is over has gone the way of the Dodo or is approaching at a good clip. Add to that my expectations of what I'd hope to accomplish this year verses the list of what I'd actually done and the year's events, this hasn't been the best of years. At least to me personally.

I hope 2007 will bring about greener grass (or however that expression can be twisted).

*Lazied Motivation
adj + noun
To be motivated to remain lazy. Usually doing work/doing work in such a way to ensure that a stretch of lazyness can be maintained. Sometimes expending more energy than if work was done normally or at all.

Short story, long story.

2006-10-15T15:17:00.000+08:00

Short story:

I've started playing World of Warcraft.

Long Story:

...I don't have time for the long story.

Sorry. ^ ^

Nothing really, just a random update. =P

2006-08-09T18:38:00.000+08:00

Flu.

Not bad enough to lay me out flat but it's enough to make me wish I stayed home in bed.

*bleh*

In other news; I need to get back into drawing. I'm short lots of practice of what I want my skills to be.

The Haircut.

2006-07-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

Warning: Pic of me present. =P

Got to report to a military camp tomorrow morning so I had to cut my hair today.

After having it all the way to mid-back for a couple of years, it's like saying goodbye to a friend who's going overseas.

Right now it's relatively short. I think it's looks like a girl's style (if a girl would get one as horrible as mine probably looks) since I'm planning on letting it grow out again, and since I cut it myself. About 8 inches and 200-300 grams of hair got the snip.

Well, here's more or less how I look like now. (I did a bit of trimming after this.)

And the amount of hair that had to go. (There's actually more but this image is way clearer.)

Just to post something...

2006-07-01T13:21:00.000+08:00

Guess it's about time I moved this (blog) along...

A coupla days ago I had a dream. Or maybe it was a week back...? Anyway, in it I dreamt abut my mom. I'm ashamed to say that I couldn't remember what she told me. But I keep thinking it had something to do with food. Or dinner.

Anyway, what I could definately remember was that as she was leaving I asked her to wait. I didn't quite know what to say or what I wanted to say but I finally managed to settle on telling her that it was good to see her again.

Somehow saying that just made me feel better about the whole dream episode.

----------------------------------------------------
I applied for a temperory job last week, it turned out that it (the position) was more of an employee evaluation stint for a permernant job that the company was setting up. While I qualified for the education requirements, I was not prepared for the commitment.

Before I left, the interviewer asked if I was interested in a something akin to a retainer (the first weekend of every month) position since I mentioned that I was just looking for a temp jobs at the moment. I indicated that I was interested and in elation of getting such a position I forgot to ask for more details. ^ ^

Anyhow, partly because I was extra busy this week and partly because I forgot to get contact information, that job seemed to be rather intangible at the moment. ^ ^

I suppose it maybe a lost cause thought I'll give it one more week. ^ ^

----------------------------------------------------
On a lighter note; I shot down Pixy in Ace mode while flying an F-5 in Ace Combat Zero and earned an 'S' rank while doing so!! Wh00T!! ^_^

Bye Mom...

2006-05-21T07:22:00.000+08:00

On May 21st, 4:25 A.M., my mother; Anne Chiang Su Oi, passed away.

God bless, God speed, Rest in Peace.

Bye mom, we'll miss you...

Hospital II

2006-04-25T00:25:00.000+08:00

My mom's been in the hospital all this while. She got better and then worse about four times now. She's now critically ill and there's a chance that she won't make it.

Right now, I wish I could just lock myself in my room for a year.

Hospital...

2006-03-14T14:11:00.000+08:00

It started a week back. My mom had a migraine and went to the polyclinic for a checkup. She came back with medcation that proved ineffective, she still felt the pain after two days.

On Friday, she went to the nearby clinic, our regular doctor. She had a shot and came back with three types of medicine. It turned out that she was allergic to one of them and her face swelled by the end of Saturday and she couldn't speak. My mom seemed to be recovering though as she could get about, abet a little unsteadily. My father went to the clinic on Sunday morning and the nurse told him to stop the offending medication. The swelling subsequently went down and it seemed that she was on the road to recovery (she could speak again).

Early on Monday morning she was suddenly in great discomfort and while my father went to the nearby hospital to get their Ambulance service to bring her in, I stayed and watched over her. Her breathing was shallow and laboured and she couldn't speak again. She didn't even have the strength to pull the blanket off of herself. My father came back and told me that the Paramedics (a private Ambulance service) were coming. They came about 20 minutes later and took her to another hospital (something about the one nearby only taking registered patients (I don't know why just that I never liked that hospital after another incident - something totally unrelated - a few years ago)).

I went to work after that and when I got home my brother and father were asleep, I got a post-it note to her hospital ward and room number on my computer monitor.

This morning my father told me that she needed to have an operation and that three specialists would confer with us regarding the procedure at about noon. That even if the operation were successful she would likely go blind. We're not sure exactly what's wrong but it was something about pressure from fluid pushing against her brain. She's already hard of hearing so it'll be really rough on her.

We (mybrother, father and me) went to the hopspital this morning to see the doctors. We were joined by two of my uncles (one of my mother's brothers), an aunt (her sister) and two cousins (mom's sister's daughters), immediate family on my mothers side. The Catholic priest from our church came to pray for her too (our neighbour had called for him to come). According to my father, my mom was awake when the preist spoke to her though she couldn't respond (she still couldn't talk).

I left for work after I got to see her a little. She was already sleeping by then. I bidded my relatives goodbye and got to work, an hour late. I had already called ahead and told my boss that I would be late for work and why.

Now here I am, dreading a phonecall that may or may not come with news that I may or may not want to hear. I don't know how we're gonna get through things from now on either.

Comp's working again!! Wh00t!! ^_^

2006-02-27T22:12:00.000+08:00

Had to take it down to the service center (by 'it', I mean just the mainboard, which of course neccesitated the removal of the other components of said board e.g.: CPU, Graphic cards), but they got it working again within 5 minutes. And even though it was past warranty, they didn't charge me anything! ^_^

In the process, I think the overheating problem's been licked. I mean it's been running fine so far, without a reset. (Funny thing is, the guy told me that if the board's overheating, it would shut off, not reset.) But then again, looking over the temperture gauge, and thinking back, I have been working this thing pretty hard. Sometimes running like 7 to 10 apps at once. Time to cut down. ^ ^

Computer troubles.

2006-02-24T13:41:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I tried to update the BIOS of my mainboard but that went south real fast.

First I did it via MSI's live update. It allowed me to do it via Windows rather than the traditional DOS flash update. For some reason, that didn't work right. (Had the option of creating a rescue disk but I decided to skip it (I had no floppies and a non-functional floppy drive).)

Anyway, after first finding out how to create a recovery disk and buying a new drive I tried to do a recovery. That went halfway to the South Pole. =P Now the computer won't even make a sound (not even the 'activation beep').

*Sigh* Guess I have to get professional help. I hope this get resolved soon.

Later. =\

So I finally make another attempt at the post that crashed. =P

2006-02-12T17:33:00.000+08:00

I can't remember exactly what I was trying to say, but here's some of what I remember.

====================================
A short time ago, when going home, I happened to notice some kids in the train across from me. Now this wouldn't be much normally, except that it was like about midnight, and the kids were like twelve. Their parents were nearby but... when I was their age, I was expected to be asleep by nine.

That wasn't the only instance, another time when I was going home late from work, I saw someone burning religious offerings at about three in the morning. There was a little kid of about eight wide awake and playing near him. At three in the morning!

I know that my mom tends to overdo things when being a parent (at 18 years of age, I'm expected to go to sleep by eleven), but I never would have imagine being out and about at midnight until I was twenty (yes, I believe that I have a skewed childhood/upbringing).

====================================
Here's an interesting fact.

It turns out that the Automated Teller Machine of the bank I patronise uses Windows as its OS. I only found this out when I wanted to use a machine that somehow didn't load its 'Start up' folder. I saw a blank black screen with the windows taskbar and 'Start' button. Not exactly confidance inspiring. ^ ^

&#$&%#&#

2006-02-05T16:04:00.000+08:00

Was writing half a post when suddenly with no reason at all, Firefox 'performed an illegal operation' and died taking my post with it.

Gonna have to reconstruct it...

Edit: Of course, it was only _after_ I posted this that I notice the 'Recover Post' link... -_-*

Gahhh!! Planning Battletech missions with a headache...

2006-01-22T19:28:00.000+08:00

At work with a headache and sourcebooks.

In order to avoid the arms race-like enviroment and rediculous payouts of the previous campaigns, I've been planning some very unconventional and off the wall missions (at least to the locals).

Hence the sourcebooks and headache.

I need a break. +_o

Malaysia Trip Pt. 4

2006-01-04T18:54:00.000+08:00

Here's the final part. I'm sorry it took this long to show up here and sorry this'll be a bit vague. ^ ^

Dec 5

Woke up pretty late that morning, I don't think I was awake at the time the others (Gary & company) left but I'm not sure. It was the last day of our stay and we were to leave (the hotel, our coach trip was at 7 pm or 7:30 pm or something) during the late afternoon/early evening (about 5 pm or so). According to Colin, lunch was gonna be provided by our sponsor but I wasn't gonna be able to attend (it turned out to be a good thing (for me anyway) later). It was to be held at the lounge which was also on the 23rd floor of the hotel we were in.

Anyway, I got up pretty late, stayed in the room till pretty late too. I took a bath, packed some of my stuff. No I think it was most of my stuff (I would later find out (later as in 'back in Singapore') that I had left my toothbrush, toothpaste and shampoo behind). I left the room just as Colin came back from breakfast to get something. Anyway I made my way down to the 23rd floor for breakfast, and it was pretty much routine about what I ate at that point (with the exception of a mushroom omelette).

I had gotten to the place a bit too late (half an hour before breakfast hour was over (9:30? 10:30? I can't remember anymore)) to join any of the others at a table. Well, not that there would be any space for me anyhow since the tables were only large enough to seat four and the only table occupied with the volunteer group was filled. I took a corner window seat. Not the best since my back was to the main window but I could see to the side (the window was from floor to ceiling). Ate my fill before heading back up to my room (I was holding on to the access card and room key).

After I got back I made a call to Dawn. Making phone calls with area codes was new to me so it took me two to three tries plus a call to the hotel operator before I managed to get a call out. We spoke for a bit and arranged a meeting spot. Due to my ignorance of the city and failure to mention a local landmark (which the hotel was right beside (almost under but more about it later)), we arranged to meet in Books Kinokuniya at a nearby mall (which I found out the name of but I can't remember now (was it Petronas mall?) ^ ^).

After getting directions from Colin and Richard (the one bunking in our room), I walked over to mall. And after a bit of wandering I got into the book shop to do a bit of browsing (I can lose an entire day in a book store! =)). I met Dawn a little later and we went over to a Japanese restraunt for lunch.

We talked and also caught up a little on AMRN stuff though I can't remember exactly what now(urmm, my memory's imitating Swiss cheese, there are holes all over the place ^ ^). ^ ^ Dawn suggested a coupla places we could head over to after lunch and we decided on the Menara tower.

A short taxi trip later, we were there. Menara tower, the tallest building in Kuala Lumpur. And also incidentally next to the hotel I was staying at. ^ ^ Yeah, I noticed that there was a tower next to my hotel, just not that it was _the_ tower in KL (yeah, I can be remarkably dense at times). ^ ^ Anyway, we paid for admission and went to the observation deck.

It was a really great view from the top, it was a circular deck and we could see all of the surrounding city. At the top, I was given (lent actually) a MP3 player that had contained desciptions of the surrounding city. Pretty nifty but since I had a guide with me, I didn't listen much to the player. =) Dawn descibed the surrounding city and also pointed out certain landmarks. Wolf's Game Shop (or at least the building containing the shop) and her place of work among them. The city wasn't very built 'up' but was very built '(spread) out' (well, to my perspective anyway. Singapore has a lot of tall buildings together in a small area).

After the tour, since Dawn had some time to kill before she had to leave for work, we went next door to the hotel. To the lounge to see if we could catch the others. We did, and it turned out they were starving. ^ ^ Somehow or rather, there was no lunch. I didn't find out why though.

Dawn stayed with us for a while, talking until she had to leave. It turned out that it was next to impossible to get a cab from our location at that time of the day. I have no idea why though. Eventually Dawn did managed to get a cab and left for work.

Soon after she left, we had to leave too. We (well Colin rather) had bought a large amount of boardgames to be brought back to Singapore. To do so, we had to divi up the 'spoils' to get them past customs, at about 2 games per volunteer. ^ ^ Eventually we got caught three cabs (two at once at first and the third much later) and got to our departure point (it was the same hotel we arrived at on Friday). Some of us took the time we had until departure to make a food run to a nearby McDonalds. Since I wasn't hungry, I just asked Richard to help me get a chocolate milkshake. We don't have that in McDs in Singapore anymore. =(

The actual trip was uneventful and I actually slept for most of the trip after dinner was served (also a tray of rice noodles about 15 mins into the journey). We did make one stop midway back to Singapore, at what seemed to be a large American styled diner (just off the highway seemingly in the middle of nowhere ^ ^). I was sleepy enough that I just stayed in the coach, waking up once we reached the Malaysian customs. At the Singapore customs I wonder what the officers were thinking when we showed up with all those boardgames in tow. =)

Anyway, after we reboarded the coach, we made our way to back to the hotel that was our departure point three days ago. From there it was a shared cab ride back home and to my nice warm bed. =)

I think I slept till noon. ^ ^

Well, that's it for my Malaysia trip. Dawn, if I got anything wrong, let me know and I'll correct it. ^ ^ Thanks! ^_^

BTW, the game I named 'Pit' was actually 'Halli Galli', or spelt something like that. ^ ^ My mistake. ^ ^

Merry Christmas

2005-12-24T19:22:00.000+08:00

Was gonna write out part three of my Malaysia trip but it was taking too long. I've saved the draft and decided to put this up instead.

Merry Christmas!!! ^_^

Malaysia trip Pt. 3

2005-12-24T12:24:00.000+08:00

I can't remember too much of the rest of the trip but I'll try to recount it here.

Dec 4

My shift didn't start very early today so I was able to sleep in. Got up with just enough time to shower, change and go down for breakfast.

Ate much the same as yesterday with the inclusion of an omelette and yogurt. Yogurt, woohoo! =) It wasn't anything special, just the type available at supermarts in those tiny one-serving tubs. But then again, I don't normally eat dessert at all. Darren (the friend who advised me to take the early shift) took an extra tub of yogurt, this he brought to the con.

The con was already well on its way when we got there. It was much the same as yesterday except there was a Pokemon CCG tournment today in place of the Magic: The Gathering CCG tournament yesterday. Continuation of the Warhammer tournament yesterday, more screenings of fan-made sci-fi movies. I was getting a bit tired of Plazzo Palatti. ^ ^

After my first shift (second shift of the day) we (Colin, Darren and one of the Richards from yesterday) went for lunch. I can't remember what we had though. ^ ^ Anyway after lunch Darren, Colin and I went to grab some snacks from Carrefour (the french hypermart chain) in anticipation of after con gaming at in our rooms. The highlight of the shopping trip was finding an isle of canned sardines. Actually, that wasn't it. It was finding an entire column of sardines, identical cans, piled top to bottom. We got some pictures of it somewhere, I just gotta find them from Colin. It was just something to see. =)

Anyway, we got back from our shopping trip laden with snacks and went back to work. Things were really quiet for a while and so in between games I took a walk around. There were phototaking oppotunities with Starwars and Lord of the Rings cosplayers. We got them to do a shot with them playing Plazzo Palatti, pretty cool. =)

Eventually the day crawled to its conclusion. We packed up and each of us got a free game from the pool of what we were demostrating. I got 'Ticket to Ride', a game where you travel all over 19th century USA trying to hit as many cities as you can, gaining points for it and gaining more points for longer trips.

What happened next was a colossal waste of time. We had to wait for Colin to settle yet more problems with the hotel (housing the visitor group), we spent like over an hour just waiting. Add to the fact that none of us had dinner yet and by that time, all the shops in the mall had closed, we weren't happy.

When things were finally done, we went looking for food. After a trip via minivan to a local eating place to buy food, we made our way back to our hotel. We soon found out that the food was too little. Waaay too little for the eight of us.

We had to eat the snacks as part of dinner. Hotel food was too pricy for our appitites. By the time all the food was gone, were weren't full, but at least we weren't hungry. After that we got a game of battletech rolling.

Actually more like limping. After a few snags, the game started. Unfortunately half of us were getting too tired to stay up, me being one of them. ^ ^ Basically that was the end of day/part three. ^ ^

The fourth and final part should be up soon. This is actually way more work than I expected. ^ ^

Merry Christmas (again)! =)

Malaysia trip Pt. 2

2005-12-10T17:16:00.000+08:00

Dec 3

Woke up early from the alarm clock, judged sufficient time for a bit more sleep before shutting off the alarm and going back to sleep.

Woke up again, this time by my roommate, Colin. Judged sufficient time for a slight bit more sleep before dozing off again (and letting him be the first to get to the bath, incidentally freezingly cold enough to really wake him up =D).

Woke up yet again, no more time for more sleep (if I wanted time for breakfast) but felt awake enough to stay awake from then on. Got changed into collared t-shirt and slacks before going down to the twenty-third floor for breakfast.

I'll digress a bit to describe our place of stay for a bit (and to make this post a bit longer =P). We, the volunteer group were staying at the Pacific Regency, a service apartment (serviced hotel?) building at the expence of a company sponsering Gamecon 1. Because of this, our lodging and breakfast were paid for, any other expense we would have to fork out for ourselves.

Perhaps incidentally perhaps not, the Pacific Regency building happened to be situated next to the main office of the company sponsering us. This (and certain difficulties appearently caused by our liasion) led to our ring leader labeling our place of stay as under the Eye of Sauron. Our room was the topmost of all the rooms set aside for us, hence closest to the Eye of Sauron. This little joke also led (with help from seeing twin hotel buildings (Hilton/somethingelse) along the journey) to discussion of a Hotel Sauron. It shall be composed of two closely placed towers, one named Minas Tirith, the other Minas Morgul. And at the top of both buildings a hologram generator shall form an image between the tips of both towers of a giant burning eye.

Aaaaanyway, breakfast was cool. Buffet style with a mostly western spread. Pigged out on the meat but forgot about the yogurt. Damn! There was time enough for a leasurely breakfast (to me anyway, Colin felt it was a bit rushed) before we had to leave (we were part of the first shift).

A fifteen minute trip later brought us to Mid Valley mall, the location of the con and also the largest mall in South East Asia. We settled in and setup the games. No problems that I know of during the time I was there. Bumped into an old friend Gary, who had worked in Singapore before. (Well, he was specifically looking for us.) A bit before lunch, Dawn arrived. She was down with a few of her friends. It turned out that Gary and Dawn knew each other, through a game store known as Wolf's game shop. Appearently the gaming community tended to congregate around the same areas, same as Singapore actually.

Anyway, after playing a few games it was lunch break for my shift (Shift A). Colin, Gary and Dawn along with one of her friends (sorry Dawn, I forgot his name ^ ^), a few others from Singapore (two Richards and a Brian) and I headed over to the food court. It was crowded so we went over to another place. The food was good though a bit pricer than I'm used to. Anyway we all chatted for a while before we left the place. Dawn had to meet some friends later so she left the mall. Colin had to stop by the hotel next to the mall (where the CCG group and con visitors were staying) to sort out some things regarding some misarrangements (yet another recurring theme) and Gary and I tagged along to chat. Dawn's friend and the others went back to the con.

After things were settled (or so we thought) we headed back to the con. Back there I figured I had enough time so I embarked on my quest for bubblegum. Dawn had suggested that Toys 'R' Us was a good place to look so it was there I went first. Couldn't find the type I was looking for though. It occured to me that the candy section of a supermarket may have it. After checking I hit the basement level and what followed wouldn't make a story by any stretch of imagination. I found the bubblegum (and that's Bubblegum, not those tiny flat strips of gum but large almost cube like chunks of gum that could be used to blow bubbles as big as your face). It was also smaller than I remembered. Certainly not enough to blow bubbles as big as my head (Though back then, my head used to be smaller...). Anyway, I was disappointed enough with the size, variety (I remembered dual apple/banana flavour) and packaging (gaudy with reflective bits and a picture of a duck with a mohawk?!?! O_o) that I only bought a triple pack (so long childhood memories *sniff*).

The rest of my shift (and all of my first) was teaching a simple game called Palazzo palati (something like that, I can't remember the spelling), a game played by building a platformed tower Jenga styled (remove pillars from the lower levels to place on higher levels). And a game called... called... Urmm... Ah yes, 'Pit'. Another simple game played by distributing out a deck of cards (which have images of various fruits numbering one to five) equally to 2 or more players. The stack of cards for each player are placed face down in front of them and each player takes turns to reveal the top card. The first player to hit a bell placed at the center of the table when exactly five fruits of the same type are revealed takes all the cards. The winner is the only player with cards remaining in hand. Yeah, they're simple games, I'm just not confident enough to teach the more complex ones. ^ ^

Around the con were various other offerings. There was a sci-fi corner wheresome sci-fi toys and collectables were sold. Also there was a screening of various fan made sci-fi movies (Star Wars, Star Trek and B5) and a couple of cosplayers playing Jedi knights, Sith lords, an Imperial Stormtrooper, Gimli and another LotR character (someone who wears scale-mail, I didn't recognize the character.).

Also around were demos of some larger scaled boardgames, Twilight Imperium, World of Warcraft (yes, the boardgame), Cosmic Encounters and I think a few others. Other slightly smaller scaled boardgames were also being demoed. In all, I think about half of the con area was devoted to boardgames. One interesting fact regarding boardgames turned up during the con, smaller quicker games are preferred in Singapore whereas larger and longer playing games are preferred in Malaysia.

There were Warhammer 40K, VS, Magic and a Pokemon tournaments being run. A Warhammer 40K demo/contest, various boardgame contests and a model making showcase. I managed to get a couple of pictures by borrowing Colin's camera so I should be able to upload somethings sometime soon.

After my second shift ended, Gary, Colin, Darren (another Volunteer), Eric (also another volunteer), Brian (from lunch), Richard (one of the Richards from lunch) and I went out for dinner and planned to stop by Wolf's Game Shop. Well we did go for dinner, after waiting for Colin for an hour. He just kept talking to the invited con guest and our sponsor liasion while the rest of us waited. While I understand the importance of his talking to people who could be potential investors or people famous enouth to endorse his products, I wish he'd think and remember enough of his friends to not keep us waiting for so long. (As a friend I should tell him off about it, but I'm just not confrontational by nature and am rather timid about such things. *sigh*)

A tradition Colin always followed when in Kuala Lumpur was to eat at a certain foodstall selling boiled pork bone soup (called 'Bak kut teh') in Petaling Jaya (an area just outside of KL). The trip over was almost an adventure; we broke into two groups to take cabs and our cabdriver didn't know the way and had to be directed by Gary via cellphone through Colin. Appearently KL's big enough that there are cabdrivers who don't even leave the city limits and can earn enough to make a living.

According to Gary, the state of public transportation in KL was terrible dispite two Light Rail Transport(transit?) a Monorail system and a cityful of taxies. It seemed that it used to be easier to get around previously (something like 10 years back) when there was a mini-bus service around (which I later learned everyone was probably better off without (reckless speeding, overloading of passangers, etc)).

After arriving at the place (the trip took like maybe half an hour, I might be wrong) we had our supper and spent about an hour and a half chatting.

Actually, the others spent an hour and a half chatting, I spent an hour and a half alternatingly listening, puzzling over what was said and straining to hear what was being said over the noise of the occasional vehicle (our table was actually on the street). I was kinda upset that we never got around to visiting Wolf's Game Shop, it was kinda late when we finished chatting and none of us know if the shop would still be open. We left for our hotel rooms after that, and the trip back was uneventful.

Back at the ranch some gaming was in order in one of the other rooms but I stayed in to put down some notes. Too bad I fell asleep before I could finish.

*looks over the post and blinks* Okay, maybe I remember a bit more than I thought. ^ ^

More another day. ^_^

Malaysia Trip Pt.1

2005-12-07T19:13:00.000+08:00

Just (more or less) got back from a three day trip to Malaysia. As it's my first trip out of the country in like 18 years, I felt I ought to document it. If only to preserve my prespective of it at the time. =P

Dec 2

The trip began quietly enough, I met a pair of friends at a game store (board and role-playing games, not computer) before taking a cab together down to the departure point. A hotel that a Malaysian coach company based its Singapore stop at. We were going to Gamecon 1, South East Asia's first and biggest game convention (or so the line goes, there were actually mini-cons held in Singapore before, though they were more just tabletop-wargaming-with-a-side-of-anime cons) as volunteers. At the hotel that was our departure point we met up with the others that were going to the con, volunteers, visitors to the con and CCG tournament players.

The Coach was cool, double-decker with a lounge, mini-toilet and infli-err.. indrive(?) movie. Way better than what I expected it to be (I was expecting just a more comfortable version of a standard air-condidtioned bus).

At the point when I began taking notes (about 6PM; 3rd hour of a 5 hour trip), there had been one hitch (well, two counting my realisation that I forgot to bring my camera). At the Singapore departure checkpoint in Tuas (western part of the island), a passenger also going to Gamecon 1 (a VS CCG player) forgot to check his passport during his preparation for his trip. It was already expired. Because of that, he had to drop out of the trip.

Anyway, we got through Malaysian customs with no problems and shortly after, the coach staff served the meal. I wasn't expecting much (low expectations from years of living in Singapore =P), but the actual food was way better than I'd imagine. I was told to expect rice noodles (bee hoon to us locals). What I expected was the noodles in a plastic lined (folded) paper packet with a pair of cheap wooden chopsticks. What I got was plastic utinsils atop a plastic tray with like 5 partitions (with veggies, mini-spring roll and fried fish fillet).

After food time was game time, a game of Modern Art. A pretty okay game of buying and selling modern art pieces. In between the meal and the game (and during each as well), I spent a bit of time looking out the windows at the countryside. There is a -lot- of countryside. =) I was also mildly surprised to see quite a bit more palm trees than I was used to.

The highlight of the trip was a game a bunch of us played called Werewolf (not the one from White Wolf), well highlight to me anyway. =P There were three roles in the game, Werewolf, Villager and Seer. No role-playing was neccessary, it was more of a guess-the-culprit kind of game. In the three games we played, I was a Werewolf, a Villager and then the Seer. Whoo, pretty fun! =)

Anyway after the third game and a bit of writing it soon got too dark to see much of the countryside. It was a short while later that we started seeing suburbs and I thought that we were getting close to our destination. The journey continued on for a bit longer than I thought and along the way, I saw another thing (well, things) that was stood out from what could almost be another part of Singapore. The very large advertising billboards. There're hardly any in Singapore, the only one that I remember clearly is a large old Coca-Cola logo painted on the side of a building, I can't recall any freestanding ones.

During the trip, a friend mentioned that the city layout in Malaysia seemed like something from Simcity (i.e.: 'Hmmm, I think this looks good over there.' 'I wonder what does this do?' 'Does this work over here?' etc...) To me, it just seemed like Singapore, just less strictly planned out (I would later revise my opinion of that).

We reached our debarkation point fine and from there it was a short hop via mini-van to our actual hotel (actually serviced apartment (I think)). There was a bit of a mess regarding our room assignment but that was straightened out pretty quickly (I was to later find out that the CCG tournament playing/Gamecon visitors group had their own far larger share of problems). After a light supper and an hour or so of (board)gaming we all turned in as it was already midnight. In what was to be a recurring theme for the trip, time passed quickly when we weren't paying attention (that and lotsa time wasted waiting, the other recurring theme for the trip).

Well, that's it for the moment. Part 2 tomorrow or something.

Letter of resignation.

2005-09-14T03:20:00.000+08:00

Wow, it's now three AM and I've only just finished writing a letter of resignation to my boss. This isn't as easy as I thought. (Not the decision to quit, I made that decision (repeatedly) during the last two weeks.)

*Sigh* In any case, I may write more tomorrow.

20 years ago...

2005-08-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

During the mid eighties, the world was enamoured with the Japanese school system for producing scores of book smart straight-A students, the highest percentage of any school system in the world. This is before the costs of such a high pressure education system was made known; higher suicide rates, fustrations were taken out on other students, ostracism of those who couldn't fit in...

Now twenty years on, the students who had to attend schools whose educational programs were modeled after the original Japanese system are adults. Most of them are working, not all of them coping well. The scope of this rant doesn't extend to Japan nor beyond what I personally know on the subject.

Not everyone could cope under the education system in place at the time. There were those who could do well, even fantastically so. But what of those who could not. There is not much known about those who didn't do so well under the system. Oh there are newspaper article about those who failed in school yet were able to succeed in life. Usually through their own natural gifts. But what of those who have not? Those who never did all that well (or did just well enough) in school but haven't accomplished much since leaving school?

The school system of the time was just plain lousy. It forced slower students to try and catch up, sometimes beyond their ability to do so, and forced faster students to slow down, losing their natural pace of learning. Because of how the subjects were taught in school, rote learning was prized and actual thought and creativity was suppressed. Or ignored. This is not to say that those who succeeded in school and life were just memory masters. Frequenty, those who did well have the smarts and personality to back it up. They coped, and soared, some through hard work and some through their natural talents. But what about the flip side of the coin?

A generation of students who might have been great were railroaded into mediocrity. Just for results that looked good on paper. So what if some could not understand the more intangible points of mathematics? Or sciences of the physical, chemical or biological world? Life does not revolve around those twelve, twenty, thirty-thousand dollar pieces of paper that state how well you did in school.

In pushing for results, some were pushed to the ground. And they could not get up again because of the pressure they had to bear and because of the mass of the others who have had to pass over on top of them.

Yes, I'm bitter over the experiences I've had in school. And I feel that abilities I have and/or had were suppressed while schooling. What can I do? I try to move on, hope to improve myself. I'm not interested in 'making them pay' or revenge.

What I think are the results of the educational syllabus from those days? Things are just getting too competitive nowadays. Everyone wants 'The Best'. Far too little people are content with life by itself and far too many people are obsessed with wealth and status.

While I wouldn't mind being fabulously wealthy, I'd rather be able to live without worrying about 'improving' myself to government standards.

This is one of those times...

2005-07-06T03:08:00.000+08:00

I'm writing this now to remember that this is one of those moments of clarity that suddenly appears unbidden, and quietly, all too quickly fades away. It is during such times when one can be completely true to onesself, and see without denials or dillusions. Even if one is absent minded enough to forget what he should be remembring.

I'm writing this now to remind myself in the future that things happen, good, bad and everything in between. Cry, scream, rage. In the end, remember to pick yourself up and move on.

I know not when I will need to read this but I hope I will see this when I do. And when I do, a Moment of Clarity to allow me to see, whether to drift with the winds of change and destiny or to make a stand against it.

...

Okay, now that that's out of the way; as to the what got me into this mood/state tonight (this morning rather), Mark Oakley's 'Thieves & Kings' The Shadow Book. =)

If I were rich...

2005-05-16T10:57:00.000+08:00

If I were that, one of the things I'd do is set up an anime distribution company.

Yeah, those companies are a dime-a-dozen. The difference about this one, is that it'll focus on anime-fans, not on business. It'll essencially be a non-profit organization. =)

For subbing, it'll be outsourced to fansub groups. They'll be paid a certain amount per episodes done and be given screen credit (of course, since they're the ones doing the encoding and stuff =P). To be selected, the raw of the first episode would be up for open subbing and the best sub would net the subbing group a contract for the series (maybe block of episodes if the series is real long). It'll be like bidding, only with the quality of their work rather than how much they'll be charging for their services. That way, the best quility would be selected, not the lowest bidder. ;P

Distribution would be tricky. How to make it legal yet not make the fans pau through their noses for their anime?

Bittorrent is an excellent way of distribution, the problems are, billing and fans with no/little access to the internet.
Direct downloads is another way, but their maintaince is gonna hurt. The upside is that billing is easier to handle and more internet users can download easily. The downside, is upkeep and fans with little/no access to the internet.
Physical products are the third method. Actual VCD/DVD sales reaches the non-net connected group. This opens another can of problems (and expences); taxes, transportation, distributors, overhead.

Okay, so it's not going to be easy...

Price. Yeah, here's the _major_ element, and partly the main impetus of this rant. Since the business is gonna be fan-focus and not money-minded, the price should be low. Very low. Low enough that pirates would look at the price and throw up their hands in disgust. With that in mind, the anime producers should get a big percentage of the 'profits', say like 80% (I'm just grabbing a figure outta thin air, I haven't the foggiest of the costs involved ^ ^). The fansubbers get a fixed amount, and a bonus of _everything_ that goes over the profit line.

Okay, so this isn't very well thought out. ^ ^ It is something I would like to have happen if I were rich. ^_^

Well, that's it for this rant. I'll try to think about this a bit more. Feel free to comment and toss in suggestions. ^ ^

Edit: Here's a much more detailed and thought-out version. I didn't know it existed until the author told me. ^ ^ http://pixelscribbles.com/journal/2005/02/what-do-japanese-companies-think-of.html

Three in One

2005-01-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

(Okay, round two! (The entire 'first draft' got eaten up by a 'cannot find server message' because I started writing while the page was still loading. (Loading for about 20 minutes! Sheesh!))

Ahem!)

Three rants in one update that is. =P

First up;

I have a collegue at work that's beginning to annoy me. To get this out of the way, I know I make mistakes. Really stupid ones at times. While I can't really say that I've accept that, I know it has happened, happens and will happen in the future.

This guy, since he started working full-time (while I've gone to part-time) seems to like lecturing me when I make a mistake. It wasn't a big mistake, but he was the only one who made a big issue of it. Made a big issue of it to me that is. But I resolved to forget about it until what happened today. (Then why am I whineing about it now? Because he brought it up today.)

That incident was last week. Today, due to an assumption that he... I'll lay out the whole story as I know it, that way it'll look less like I'm pointing fingers! =P

There is an event that the company I work for has to provide props for this weekend. This event, requires two components. On the jobsheet, the only descriptions of those components are ' 32' X 12' ' and ' 16' X 10' '.

The 32X12 is a banner piece, basically a wooden frame less an inch from each side. We (another part-timer and I) completed that yesterday, that went off without a hitch. I was told to do the 16 X 10 the next day.

Today, after I came in, my collegue reminded me to do the 16 X 10. When I asked, he assured me it was also a banner piece. So I got the materials out and began cutting these 12 foot sticks (there's a proper name for those, but I don't knok/recall it) down to size. After I was done with the first set (pieces for the 10 foot height) and before I began on the second set of materials, my collegue reminded me again about the job, this time adding in that I should check with the office about it. (He has a habit of repeating himself but that's not the issue here. =P)

Anyway, for reasons I can't remember now, I didn't check with office and went on to cut the second set of materials. And after putting one part together (it's built in four parts for ease of transport to the site), I measured it and found it to be one inch too tall. I'd somehow missed taking an inch off the top. So I tore up the piece and shortened all of set one by an inch. It was _then_ that something made me decide to check about the job. It wasn't a banner piece.

Time was wasted, but the materials could be reused later so it wasn't that big of a deal. It wasn't totally his nor my fault. We both goofed on that one. What bugs me is that later at the bus stop, he lectures me that I should've checked first. And he mentions that because of the previous incident, he made sure to take note of what happened and that I really should've checked first. He just kept talking, ignoring my objections and talking. At that point, I decided to revert to what I did during the previous incident. Clam up, save my breath and ignore him. If he wasn't going to listen to me, I figure I should return the favour.

He sometimes asks me questions and ignores or forgets my answers and asks me the same question again. That's just his behavioural quirk (the questions are mostly pointless and it's meant to allow him to yak on), it doesn't bother me half as much as when he asks me a (serious) question and then dismisses it as irrevelent a quarter of the way into my answer. Or blows it off when I raise a concern. (Can't really fault him for that last one though, sometimes I worry too much. ^ ^)

He's not really a bad person, and he isn't a newcomer to the company either (he worked part time there way before I joined). But I'm beginning to get an urge to tell him to just grow up.

I'm not ready to chew him out yet, but a file with his name has been prepped. Metaphorically speaking of course. =)

Okay, this is disturbing. Why do I feel like a spin doctor when I look over that? O_o¿

Next;

Up until a few months ago, I've never been on IRC much. Now, I feel so disconnected without a window to the channel open. Especially now with my computer in the middle of a windows reinstall.

Up until a few months ago, I had no reason to frequent an IRC chatroom. That is until I decided to pop into and stay a while in one maintained by my RPG group. (Since most of those who may read this know of my RPG addiction (or are from that same RPG group), there's no point plugging! =P)

I learn more during these few months than in the few years previous. Definately an excellent place for learning. Even stuff you didn't know you'd want to know. =P Kinda reminds me of a mailing list I was a part of some years back. ^ ^

Anyway, it may be a few more days before I get back to that chatroom. If any of you guys are reading this, I miss you guys and I hope to get back soon. =)

The plus side of all this is that I can download Stargate episodes easily now! =D

Finally (and relatedly);

I came this close to losing everything I've accumilated on computer over the past 12 years.

I'd already backed up all my documents (most importantly, my mail) on another partition of my harddisk and I'd wanted to try installing WinXP this time. I figure that I'll run into less problems in the mid to long run. It's probably true, since I ran into much more problems in the immediate to short run. Formatting my OS partition to NTFS resulted in an unknown error. Reformatting in FAT32 resulted in a missing operating system.

After two days of that, I decided to revert to 'good ol' WinME'. Of course I should've gone with my gut instinct and check the partitions before typing 'format c:'. (Note to self: Err on the side of caution. It's no joke losing losing your virtual life up till then.)

Then again, it might not have told me anything out of the ordinary. Anyway, after typing and entering that command, I notice something wrong as I saw the size of the partition being formatted. About 15GB, 150% the size it should be. That knocked me for a loop. Lucky me, it was still 0% formatted and I saw no other option than to hit Ctrl-Alt-Del.

That seemed to have worked, the FAT was intact, no error in displaying the files and folders that I could find and I copied the backup of the 'My Documents' folder over to the new 'blank' one alright.

The feeling I had immediately after I hit the Ctrl-Alt-Del buttons was probably a milder version of the feeling one might get from finding out that you've just flushed your entire life savings down the toilet (there, my bit of toilet humor for the year! =P).

It's a feeling I never want to feel again.

Note to self: Make at least two more backups. On an external source this time. Hardcopies optional. =)

R&D in Singapore? Research a little more into that first.

2005-01-07T20:31:00.000+08:00

Just figured out that I have to be agitated to write like this. Here goes (before I run out of steam (so to speak)). (This rant has a strange. I'll get to it later.)

Not too long ago, I remember hearing the question about why there isn't very much R&D in Singapore. It's actually really simple. R&D implies trial and error. In Singapore, the vast majority of people don't like the error part of Trial and Error.

Most of the ones who expect results do not expect bad results, or answers like this;

'I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work!' **

It's encoded into our education system* from something like 20 years back. Things may have changed, but for a lot of the working crowd who went to school during those times of 'You fail and you'll be hearing about it for the rest of the year/your academic life/life.', it's deeply ingrained.***

In time, things may change; mistakes accepted and forgiven and maybe even encouraged. Until then, Singapore can look forward to more 'things must go right the first time' thinking, and hence, not a lot of R&D. Well, that and the fact that paper qualifications are more important here than work attitude.

* Mostly government schools

** From http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes/thomas_alva_edison/

*** This quote fits well here: 'Our schools are not teaching students to think. It is astonishing how many young people have difficulty in putting their brains definitely and systematically to work....'****

**** From http://www.thomasedison.com/edquote.htm

For those of you still reading, the impetus of this is a failed chocolate brownie attempt! =P

Goodbye...

2004-12-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

This morning I recieved a call from a friend. He told me Karen passed away last night. Memorial will be held until Tuesday.

I should've visited her at the hospital yesterday morning. But I went to work thinking that I could make the visit another day. To work... One more regret to add to the list of regrets in my life.

Rest in peace Karen. May angels watch over your soul.

No title...

2004-12-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

I found out just a while ago that a friend of mine is in critical condition in the hospital. I heard that it was liver cancer and it has since spread to her lungs. The doctors have stopped treatment and are just giving her drugs to ease the pain now. It's obvious where this is heading...

I don't know how to feel. In fact, I don't feel anything. Maybe it's because it's just news, like that which you read in the newspapers. Maybe it's just something heard in passing and sounds impossible to be true. Maybe I have to see her in person before it hits me.

She looked as happy and healthy the last time I saw her, a few months back. And then this is the first news I've heard about her. This is so sudden...

I wonder how her husband is doing and taking this. They're among the nicest people I know and are only a few years older then I.

I'm afraid of how I'll feel when it hits me. But I can't imagine what he's going through right now.

God bless you, Karen, Jason.

Rantspace: First Entry

2004-12-05T13:46:00.000+08:00

I just got back from a 44 hour jaunt at work. First thing I find out upon getting home is a stupid reminder from the Stupid Armed Forces that I have to go for a fitnees test in late January. Adding to that, is the fact that the letter has already been opened and read by someone even though it was clearly addressed to me and me alone. Mostly likely my mother.

Now I love my mom, but sometimes she does these things that just ticks me off. Of course it's nothing compared to the infurating feeling everytime I get some... stupid message from the Stupid Armed Forces. Mostly reminders to go for this fitness or other. I aready did my time in National Service. I don't anything to do with that bunch anymore and yet the Govenment of Singapore expects all who have entered NS continue to participating in it's activities for 13 cycles (read years) after completion of National Service. Even if some of us want nothing more than to be left alone.

Part of the price of growing up in Singapore.

I'm not even going to rant about work now, anything from the SAF always puts everything in the back seat. The organization cares not to be second banana to anything. Or anyone.

Till next time.

Under New Management

2004-11-20T23:44:00.000+08:00

Coming Soon(ish)!

That's the way the cookie crumbles...

Moving out in a week...

Moving out...

The world is changing...

In camp training tomorrow... stupid...

Bye Grandpa...

A friendship ended...

Not quite resolutions for the coming New Year

A brief summary of the last few days

In Canada....

Really quick and minor update.

Went to my first Rock (or would it be considered Pop?) concert.

*Creeeeeeaaaaak!*

Breaking chains

Backpains and Headaches

I feel angry, fustrated, spent and miserable...

What I originally wanted to post, in a nutshell.

Mindsets, paradigms and advice I've encountered

Back with another post.

Merry Christmas!!! ^_^

Life... the world... and lousy bag strap buckles.

Short story, long story.

Nothing really, just a random update. =P

The Haircut.

Just to post something...

Bye Mom...

Hospital II

Hospital...

Comp's working again!! Wh00t!! ^_^

Computer troubles.

So I finally make another attempt at the post that crashed. =P

&*#$&%#*&#

Gahhh!! Planning Battletech missions with a headache...

Malaysia Trip Pt. 4

Merry Christmas

Malaysia trip Pt. 3

Malaysia trip Pt. 2

Malaysia Trip Pt.1

Letter of resignation.

20 years ago...

This is one of those times...

If I were rich...

Three in One

R&D in Singapore? Research a little more into that first.

Goodbye...

No title...

Rantspace: First Entry

Under New Management

Creeeeeeaaaaak!

&#$&%#&#